This Means War

FDR had his war against totalitarianism.
JFK, LBJ, Nixon, Reagan and others had the war against communism.
Bush had the war on terrorism.
I have mine against pestism.

At approximately 11:45 PM last night, the first shots of my war began. Their had been minor border incursions previously. The odd ant line on my wall, a praying mantis in my mosquito net, a giant beetle on the ground, and the buzzing of a mosquito here and there. But last night it became a full fledged conflict.

While most of the pests out there would make the occasional attempt to penetrate the confines of my room, some successful, some not, the cockroaches and I had an understanding. They would hang around the bathroom at night, and I would just avoid them, and they would stay out of my room. Live and let live. That uneasy truce was broken unilaterally by them. As I awoke to the sound of rustling just outside my heavily fortified bed and mosquito net. Normally I would have ignored it, but I kind of needed to use the restroom anyways, so I thought I would check it out. I get up and flip on the light and I see the raiding party of cockroaches scrambling for hiding spots. They were raiding a stash of my food (luckily the good stuff is in a secure bucket). One even had the audacity to hide in an open pocket of my toiletry bag. He paid for that boldness with his life. I then in my subsequent trip to the restroom found a whole batch of cockroaches, no doubt preparing for more raids. And so it began.

The next day I purchased some bug spray and got busy getting rid of any trash, locking up unsecured food and spraying any entrances to my room. In my cleaning I found a swarm ants near around my garbage. Clearly the ants and cockroaches are joining forces for day and night attacks. Well my Doom (Kenyan bug spray) made quick work of them.

I’m not alone in my fight either. I have allies. The quick and stealthy lizards who travel through cracks in the wall. They have joined me in this fight. I believe the small one I found in my bed was a messenger sent to arrange the terms of our alliance. I can see one such brave soldier now, dutifully patrolling the window sill. And my past enemies, the spiders, are now trusted friends in the face of this new threat. They long occupied the corners of my room, too numerous to bother trying to dispatch. However, they now have given me a signal to show they are on my side. One of the cockroaches who met the underside of my shoe last night, who I had pushed into a corner to deal with later, was strung up in a web, half eaten, being presented by a massive spider to me. Clearly a gesture the spiders want to past grievances behind them, and unite.

My bed, being raised off the ground and with a mosquito net tucked under the mattress is heavily fortified and secure. But the rest of my room is sadly unprotected and I fear may be the site of future battles. But armed with bug spray and shoe, I will take back this land, I will make it safe, not just for me, but for my stuff, and the stuff I may one day have.